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Impending Cicada Plague a Great Excuse to Work From Home

They've already inundated the D.C. area, and as soon as the ground gets warm enough, the cicadas will begin to smother New York as well. It will be pretty disgusting (and loud) for a while, but there is one silver lining. "I made arrangements with my office so I can telecommute," a Virginia woman who is deathly afraid of bugs tells the Washington Post. Apparently this is an acceptable work-from-home excuse, so just tell your boss you suffer from crippling entomophobia and enjoy not showering. 

New Crazy Black Republican Is Craziest Black Republican Yet

The Obama presidency has been a golden era for right-wing kookery. Many aspects of this kookery, like gold fetishism or threats to default on the national debt, are simply too esoteric to filter into the general public and haven’t hurt the party’s image. Where Republicans have suffered damage is when their kook beliefs wander into the terrain of social issues, which hinge less on specialized knowledge, and the nuttiness is apparent to all. They keep throwing away winnable elections in this manner, and they may be about to do it again in Virginia.

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Two More Village Voice Survivors Quit to Prove a Point

Earlier this month, the editor-in-chief and deputy editor of the Village Voice, who had been at the paper for less than a year combined, quit rather than fire a few of the paper's remaining editorial staff. A week later, those people were fired anyway, including Michael Musto. With the weekend to stew over the disheartening "restructuring," two more writers resigned today, leaving the alt-weekly's masthead a bit out of date. (See our updates in red.)

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12 Things to Know About Tumblr’s Vespa-Riding, Williamsburg-Dwelling Founder David Karp

David "Fuck Yeah" Karp is 26 years old and just sold his company to Yahoo! for $1.1 billion in cash, a massive chunk of which goes straight into the pockets of his skinny jeans. And yet, "WHO'S THIS YAHOO!" asked the cover of the Daily News this morning, along with a goofy photo of the blue-eyed tech boy-king. "City HS DROPOUT sells startup site to Web giant for $1.1B." If, like most of the world, which does not fetishize its local nerds, this is the first you're hearing of the guy, allow us to catch you up on his perfectly precious rise into the realm of Mark Zuckerberg status. There is a Vespa involved.

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Ted Nugent’s Brother Is Unexpected

The most interesting part of this Washington Post op-ed on guns by Jeffrey Nugent ("Ted Nugent’s older brother") is not the case it makes for expanding background checks. Everyone with the capacity for common sense thinks expanding background checks is a good idea, including, apparently, Jeffrey Nugent. The most interesting part of Jeffrey Nugent's op-ed is this line, right at the beginning:

Jeffrey Nugent is the former president and chief executive of Revlon.

We know they're brothers, but were they separated at birth or something?

The Oakland Lesbian Sleeping With Her Submissive Male Neighbor

Once a week, Daily Intelligencer takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Oakland Lesbian Sleeping With Her Submissive Male Neighbor: Female, 26, Oakland, California, massage therapist in training, single, lesbian.

DAY ONE

1 p.m. Meet up with the Binder to rock-climb. This is our first date, and she's cuter than her pictures on her OkCupid profile, so it's a pleasant surprise. It's not that I felt she was unattractive in her photos — it's just nice to see that they didn't do her much justice.

3 p.m. After climbing for a couple of hours, we grab some nonalcoholic drinks before parting ways. We agree we'll do it again sometime soon when her schedule is freer.

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Michelle Obama’s SOTU Guest Turns Out to Be Absolutely Despicable

Richard DeCoatsworth, a Philadelphia cop who once sat next to Michelle Obama at a 2009 State of the Union address after being shot in the face and still pursuing his assailant, is in huge trouble. The charges against the 27-year-old "hero cop" run the gamut of awful, including forcing a woman into prostitution, rape, sexual assault, terroristic threats, guns, and drugs. His $60 million bail might just be a Philly record, which, knowing that place, is not an easy feat.

The Happiest LIRR Car Ever Will Make You Hate Everything

Electric Daisy Carnival, once described as a "bacchanal where international DJs spin for 100,000 wasted hedonists scantily dressed in furry underwear," was in Queens over the weekend, and no one was reported dead. On the other hand, someone documented the ride to the music festival on the Long Island Rail Road, and it is a sickening mess of the most excited, neon-clad, high-fiving bros north of Miami. They are chanting what sounds like a White Stripes song, on the way to a dance-music festival, while wearing Knicks and Tar Heels gear. Nothing makes sense.

53 People Who Think We Should Just ‘Leave Rob Ford Alone’

According to three journalists who separately viewed a clear and well-lit cell-phone video, Toronto mayor Rob Ford smokes crack. Many see this as kind of a problem. Crack is not only illegal, but it also tends to distract one from one's obligations and responsibilities — like, say, running a city of 2.6 million people. But there are some people who just aren't interested in whether Ford, the mayor of Canada's largest city, smokes crack with Somali crack dealers in his spare time. They want everyone to leave Rob Ford alone. 

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